Pittsburgh Sports Fans...Quite Possibly the Worst!

Sorry for the brief delay....but BLUFF DIVERS IS BACK IN FULL FORCE....

did this a week ago but oh well...

Sun, Beer, Bad Baseball, and Buds....Its got to be Bucco Opening day. With that being said, let me give our mulleted millvale brethren some answers to their concerns about me and how I roll at openers.

1) Yes I am wearing a Red Sox jersey. Yes they are the best team in baseball this decade. Go suck on a lemon losers.

2) Yes I am from Pittsburgh. I know you never passed geography class, or even no what geography is, but the last time I checked Greenfield was a suburb IN the city!

3) Yes I am an actual Red Sox FAN....pretty much since birth. Liked Marty Barret just as much as Dustin Pedroia! I am willing to bet that I know more about Red Sox baseball than you do about your beloved Stillers, Buccos, and Pens N' At combined. BTW you mustache sporting, cowher loving bandwagon idiots couldn't pack 3 rivers for baseball playoff games. With fans like that, who needs enemies?

4) No I don't like the Patriots. I don't like the Steelers or the NFL either butt munches. Its one step above studio wrestling. I am wearing a Dukes hat.

5) Yes I attend more Pirate games in a year than most will in their lifetime (I am not afraid to leave my neighborhood or town more than twice a year like most yinzers). I think this gives me a right to wear whatever the hell I want to the games. Also, if the Pirates ever get good, by the way the FREAKING DUQUESNE DUKES HAD A WINNING RECORD, you can all kiss my ass for not going to games other than on bobblehead nights or opening day. Or if Foghat is playing an hour set before the game. Or Styx. Or Charlie Daniels. Or the Clarks. Or the Country Clarks (aka Poverty Neck Hillibillies). Or Donnie Iris. Or Joe Grusheky.

Side Note: The words "Donnie Iris" and "Internationally renowned recording artist" should never be mentioned in the same sentence. Ever.

6) I also am a Duquesne Dukes season ticket holder of 20 plus years. That should allow me to go to all sporting events wearing nothing but black tube socks and a smile if I want to.

Special Thanks to all those who started the "Lets Go Dukes" cheer in the outfield. 2008 baby! Tourney Time! Couple of Diaper Dandies coming in!

7) The Red Sox DO NOT have the highest, second highest, or third highest payroll in baseball. After this year when they dump Schilling they may drop out of the top ten. They have signed players like David Ortiz and Cocoa Crisp for nothing and Pedroia, Papelbon, Youkilis, Buckholtz, Ellsbury, and Varitek (via trade) are all products of their minor league system or smart front office decisions. Pirate fans get this straight, YOUR ENTIRE ORGANIZATION SUCKS AND THEY DONT CARE ABOUT WINNING. You sign Pat Meares, Derrick Bell, KY (not the gel) long term, and develop studs such as JJ Davis and Tike "where is my rental car" Redman. Lick my balls.

8) You know NOTHING about baseball if you boo ARAM and call him a traitor. Please go directly home and put on your back up set of Zubaz immediately. BTW I have never really seen before or since a pre-emptive salary dump since ARAM. Unbelievable.

9) Did I mention that the words "Donnie Iris" and "Internationally renowned recording artist" should never be mentioned in the same sentence. It made my skin crawl to write that again but I wanted to get my point across.

10) Learn how to handle you beer and heckle. Nothing is worse than a bad sports heckler. Nothing is worse than the "fans" in this fricking town.