Bulgarian BluffDivers Association of America Presents....Famous Bulgarian Americans.

-Anais Alexander - model/porn star, her mother is half-Bulgarian. (She is possibly Thorton Mellon's future ex-wife).

-Greg Jordnanoff- philanthropist, humorist, bluff diver, and friend to all.

-Nicholas Paul Jordanoff- once strong bluff diver, world famous meat head, father of the bean

-Iliya Jordanoff- unofficial Allegheny County record holder of quarters successfully stuck up one's nose

-Assen Jordanoff (no relation)- aviation constructor with global recognition. considered "the father of modern aviation."

-Joe Jordanoff (no realtion)- internationally ranked body surfer.

-Carl Djerrasi - famous chemist, developed the first oral contraceptive pill (OCP) that was nominated as one of the greatest medical discoveries in the last 166 years.

-John Atanasoff - the inventor of the first computer.

Thats right a porn star, the guy who developed the pill, and the inventor of the first computer ( All of which without Bluff Divers would cease to exist) were all Bulgarian Americans!

-Rita Wilson - actress and producer, married to Tom Hanks.

Other notables....

-Christo (not to be confused with Family Guy's Christobel) - world famous artist, known for projects such as The Gates, The Wrapped Reichstag, etc.
-Dan Koleff - world famous wrestler from the first part of the 20th century.
-Leah Labelle - singer, finalist in American Idol.
-Peter Petroff - inventor, engineer, NASA scientist, and adventurer.
-Stephane Groueff - writer, journalist, wrote the "Manhattan Project".
-Victor Ninov - famous nuclear physicist, discovered darmstadtium, roentgenium, and ununbium.
-Ephram Nestor - deported Communist, party to Supreme Court case Flemming v. Nestor
-Ted Kotcheff - Canadian film and television director

Sponsored by the BBDAA

Cheers to Bluff Divers.

Have one on us Mr. Peterson!!!


-One of the few things I look forward to on a day to day basis is getting to watch Cheers (8:00 AM TV Land). It is a travesty that this show is only on once a day. I am planning on naming my first son Samuel Norman...because every buddy loves chubby funny guys, ex-baseball players, playboys that have to deal with neurotic women, and beer!


Presenting a new bluff diver feature...Norm Peterson Quote of The Day!!! (i will provide two on day #1)

"What'll it be, Normie?"
"Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."

Norm was a bluff diver!

"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."

-How can there ever be a better show than one that accurately depicts downtime at a bar? You know, like 6 o'clock at Kopy's on a Saturday night. Just you and your boys hanging out with nothing really going on and no one really there...let the hijinx ensue.

-People have often said to me Cheers is very unrealistic because people leave in the middle of a shift to do crazy things (like visit Robin Colcort in jail or play pranks on Gary's Olde Town Tavern). Anyone who ever worked in Oakland back in the day or in OE's heyday or at any bar for that matter, knows that this was a distinct and real possiblity. Rounders anyone? Ten ounzers?

-Cheers even made Kelsey Grammar and Shelly Long funny. Thats like making Rosey O'Donnel look like Heidi Klum.

-I don't get how I am strangely attracted to Carla either.

-The only thing that makes me mad about Cheers was that they didn't expand the character of Paul more often (one of the Bob's from Office Space)

-I would like to eat at the Hungry Heffer

-I love how when Ernie Pantuso aka Coach passed away, they basically created the same dum dum character in Woody Boyd

-Cliff Claven ate at the Old Europe two days in a row!!!

-My favorite episode is when Cliff gets treated with shock therapy to be less annoying and Al (the old guy) gets a hold of the shocker and quips "Dance, Mail Boy!"

-Great last episode. Unlike Seinfeld.

-Bluff Divers is contemplating starting a petition to the networks to remove all episodes of Will and Grace, Frasier, Friends, That 70's show, and Scrubs (I never know when to laugh at that show) and replace them with Cheers, Wings, Night Court, Hogans Heroes, and All in the Family. Maybe toss in some Perfect Strangers.

My Mother Bluff Dives!

- I have just learned that my mother has read my blog and participated in the wonderment of bluff diving! Which probably means Pops has been openly bluff diving, which we have known about for years.

-I am not sure how I feel about this. It's kind of like having your friends catch you watching the Golden Girls or finding that Yanni cd in your car. While you'll still enjoy both very much, it just won't be the same and you'll always be looking over your shoulder.

-That being said Blanch is a slut!

-The aforementioned security breach is not that big of a deal but I am somewhat concerned of what my mind is capable of blogging while I am on a Duquesne Dukes writing strike.

In honor of this momentus occasion....

Ten Things No Kid Wants to Ever Hear from His Parents: (I have only heard some of these, thank God!)

10) Any variation of..."ohhh, uhhh, son, we were just practicing our favorite naked..."
9) They day you were born was the drunkest day in my life
8) The day you were conceived was the drunkest day in my life
7) It was ok to drink wine and smoke cigarettes during pregnancy back then!
6) You weren't breast fed....I liked you as a friend (thanks Rodney)
5) Your father is an animal in bed.
4) You are like the son I never had
3) I have read your blog....interesting
2) Drop your pants, I want to see your [penis]...I want to make sure my boys are ok!
1) We have decided to make this Christmas, The Reading Christmas!!!

Feel free to comment on which ones you think I may or may not have heard!

Can this Actually Be My Life....by Tom Smytkowski and Peter Gibbons

Right now I am sitting in front of my computer screen in my mundane and thankless office, staring into space pretending to do work, but really doing nothing. I am actually thinking about downloading Tetris on to my computer to fill up the day.

I came in the side entrance so my boss wouldn't notice that I am late. By late I mean actually on time, but since everyone I work with arrives to work a 1/2 hour early I am late.

There is an abnoxiously fat, red-headed woman in the office next to me with a big, schrill, piercing voice. She also smells.

One of my four bosses actually is wearing a pink shirt with a white collar. Are you serious with this move? He bears a striking physical resemblence to a mix of Data from Start Trek and, you guessed it, Bill Lumberg.

My Job: I deal with the goddam customers so that the engineers don't have to. I fill out parts requisition forms (prf's). I am good with people. Last week I filled out a form incorrectly and 5 people came into my office to tell me about it.

At 11 AM today I have a meeting with the Bill's.

One of the Bill's just asked me if I could work on Saturday because they are really backed up with inventory.

They took my pencil sharpener away from me.

There is is a sign in my office that reads "Commitment....I will care about what I do and I will do my best for the company."

I had an idea for a diet sports drink six years ago....my classmates laughed at me and told me that was the worst idea they had ever heard.

I bet the guy that came up with G2 and Propel Fitness water is going to make a million dollars.

My copier/printer says that the ink is low. I just put in a new cartridge yesterday and it won't print.

I have dark skin and a weird last name and I don't understand why people can't pronounce it correctly...its really not that hard.... Like Michael "Jordan" plus the "off" switch.

Every day is the worst day of my life.

I am probably getting downsized. They are attempting to just fix the glitch in the system.

Tomorrow I am allowed to wear jeans. I bet I could even get away with a Hawaiian shirt.

If I had a million dollars, I would do two chicks at the same time.

The people I work with legitimately like country music and, you guessed it, Michael Bolton. A bunch of no talent ass clowns.

I could use some shrimp jammers and extreme fajitas.


This post is 100% true. It may sound familiar. I think they should make a movie out of it. Oh wait, I think they did. Unbelievable this is my life.

Love,

Lumberg Fucked Her

Things I Don't Get

Again....in no particular ranking except for number 1

1) Respect- sorry this is stolen from honorary Bluff Diver Rodney Dangerfield
2) Them- cause they always get me
3) Why no black people work at Arby's...this has puzzled me for years
4) Regular BJ's
5) Why they get me
6) Why beer makes me and chubby women sexy...does this mean I might be a chubby woman?
7) My middle brother....sorry Iliya, I just don't get you...in fact, you get me
8) Why I can't win at anything I do....
9) Why the same 7 episodes of Seinfeld are on all the time
10) People...but I do get why they are the worst though
11) Foot Fetishes...or is it Fetishi? Either way, disgusting
12) Ears....proof that God and/or the Superbeing has a sense of humor
13) How to hook up my surround sound speakers
14) How dust works
15) Why its ok to beat the crap out of each other when we are kids, but not ok to do this when we are adults
16) Why the show "Just the 10 of us" with the lovable character Coach Lubbock never made it
17) Why "Perfect Strangers" isn't in syndication
18) Why paste and dog food smell good enough to eat
19) Baseball uniforms from the 1970's...didn't they have buttons back then and how did they get those stirrups to stay up?
20) How the Dukes lost so many close games this year
21) Why Old Europe had to close
22) People who enjoy choral music, death metal, indy rock, and rap rock....you people can't really like this stuff
23) Why I am writing this blog
24) The dark circles under my eyes....they use to show up just after drinking and now they come at any time. I don't get that
25) Cumming at any time
26) Why Conan isn't on an hour earlier
27) Why MTV doesn't show music videos
28) Why I find Denise Austin (the AM Lifetime workout lady), Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Nancy Reagan sexy and why I have pleasured myself to all three
29) How I have dry and oily skin at the same time....good case for not mixing races I guess
30) How any man could actually cast a vote for Hilllary...