Classic "Other Guys" (Part One)

Ahhh...The American Dream! Being a Superstar, Dreamboat, Swooner, Sweet Heart, Loverboy! Press Clippings, TV Shows, Endorsements, Women, Booze, Mansions, Hanging Out With Other Celebs, Scandal, Servants, Good Times, Great Oldies... Popularity Beyond Your Wildest Imagination...

THESE ARE NOT THESE GUYS....

THESE ARE THE "OTHER GUYS."

Bluff Divers 2 part Series of "Classic Other Guys" in pop culture.


1) John Oates- Talent, Quintessential 80's Stache, playing 2nd fiddle to Daryl Hall. What else could you want out of life? His blatently homo-erotic performance in the "Jingle Bell Rock" video may be the greatest single moment in music video history. Unfortunately, he also holds the distinguised recognition as having one of the top five mustache removals of all time.

2) Andrew Ridgeley aka "The Other Guy From Wham"- This guy made millions by playing pocket pool with George Michael. The question remains, why did he ever stop? Any guy who is referred to "The Other Guy" in the first person has to be high on this list! Somewhere out there he is at an "alternative" bar in England wearing flourescent pink shorts, gloves, and a choose life sweatshirt. I think he was soley responsible for such ground breaking lyrics as "you put the blue skies into my day, you make the sunshine brighter than Doris Day." Who would of ever guessed these guys were hob knob gobblers with hetero-suggestive lyrics like that?

3) AC #1....Albert Clifford Slater (Mario Lopez)- Where's Zack Morris now...eh? Probably serving drinks at Applebee's. I would pay a hefty fee to see AC wrestle Niedick one more time!!! Slater was always number one in the hearts of Brown-Americans like me. His new found fame is well deserved and well worth the wait. If he re-grew his Jerry-Mullet, sported some wrestling tights, and (of course) started dating Elizabeth Berkley, all would seem right with the world (By the way, Spano is my Mano, I don't back Zack!!!)

4) AC #2....Al Cowlings..."I'm AC dammit, you know who I am!" Anyone who hung out with "The Juice" on a regular basis and lead the entire country on a 30 mph car chase is ok in my book. He is currently helping OJ search for the real killer on golf courses and high-end restaraunts across the country. He needs to go on Dancing with the Stars like AC #1... "This is AC dammit, this ain't no damn Taaango!"

5) Richard Milhouse "Boner" Stabbone (Josh Koenig)....Mike Seaver may have married his hot girlfriend from the show (not the blond PMOY but the brunett), found Jeebus, and gotten all the pub, but Boner got the greatest T.V. nickname of all time. Plus his real name was Dick, so you know he's sweet. I'll tell you what, I would love to hang out with Boner and Canada's own Alan Thicke at the same time. BTW I swear that Boner is now working at Arby's in Robinson. He also gets big Boner poinits for nailing Carol Seaver.

For amusement purposes only: Check Out This Classic Other Guy Video (click play twice):

Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis...Classic Real News Cast!

This Is A Test Clip to See if Videos Work on Bluff Divers! You have to click play twice!

"Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis were Proud to Show It Off!"

Red Sox to kick off season tomorrow at 6:AM....This will give you chills!

Ray, people will come, Ray.

They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway, not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. "Of course, we won't mind if you have a look around," you'll say. "It's only twenty dollars per person." They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it; for it is money they have and peace they lack.

And they'll walk out to the bleachers, and sit in shirt-sleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game, and it'll be as if they'd dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick, they'll have to brush them away from their faces.

The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again.

Ohhhhhhhh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.

LET'S GO SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Streaming (March) Madness!...

She Bluff Dives



THURSDAY's with Thorton: A stream of consciousness (sort of) account of the Tourney Day One! The first in Bluff Diver History!



-Making a last second move and switch Villanova and Clemson for the Sweet 16, Texas and Memphis for the Final Four (this will come back to haunt me I am sure).



-I am taking a half day off at work to watch the tourney. I tell my boss I am "leaving with my family to visit my grandparents for the blessed holiday." Praise Jeebus. In actuality I am driving to Pike Distributing to pick up four cases of beer for the weekend's festivities. Molson Canadian, Yuengling, Coors Light, and IC light. Balanced choices.



-Tip-off. At this point I am sitting alone at my house with four cases of beer, a handle of VO and bottle of tequila, a legal pad to take down notes for Bluff Divers, and a whole bunch of issues only my therapist can deal with. I am in deep, deep trouble as I learn none of the other Bluff Divers are taking off work to hang out. What happened to us and when did we get old?



-Temple is getting shoved around by MSU like a wife who's 50 year old husband just got back from happy hour. The cops (refs) refuse to press charges as the husband probably donates to the policeman's ball (see NCAA tournament). I am on my fourth beer.



-I have come to the realization that I would like hang out with the Georgia cheerleaders. I am thinking this has to be a good time. Perhaps they enjoy bluff diving. I have also come to the realization that the A-10 might be the # 7 RPI conference in basketball, but it is more like #28 when it comes to cheerleaders. The Dukettes blue valor jump suits and corpulent antics don't help this ranking.



-I am thinking that the coolest thing about being black is being able to go bald gracefully. Forget dunking or rhythm, I got one of those down. I am also thinking that it would be really cool to hang out with Isaac from the Love Boat. I am on beer eight. Whatever happened to him? Wasn't he Billy D. Williams half brother? Make that beer nine.



-Xavier is pulling out this win. They are so solid from the line and fundamentally sound on defense. I am going to pause now to do a shot of VO. Man does Sean Miller have a big set grapes using his last time out at 1:30. I like this move. I like grapes. Speaking of pulling, I may have time to look up some "literature" on the Internet before the Pitt game starts.



-By the way, Georgia beat 4 top-50 teams in a week and won a bcs conference championship, they shouldn't be a 14 seed. How does Xavier get hosed with this match up? Holy crap, as I was writing that, they just said that there had never been a 14 seed from the SEC and Xavier got a raw deal. I am so on t.v. right now. Xavier wins! VO shot #2. Beer ten.



-Pitt's spanking Oral Roberts (real toughie). Don't worry, they'll choke against MSU. I am surprised I don't see all of the "I like ORAL.....roberts" t-shirts sold on bluff divers. What the heck. Let's do one for the queen...VO #3



-Caught some Kentucky vs. Marquette highlights. MAN, I hate Tom Crean...but I kind of like him because everybody hates him so much!



-Have you seen this DiGiorno commercial? The big fat ass ordering pizza to his milf wife as he and his friends (the quintessential token black guy and good looking white friend) watch the game from their back yard? This commercial is sweet becuase in real life the only way that this broad would be married to this chubby slab of lard would be if his two friends were chinese fingertrapping her every time he left for work. I think next year I am going to try to watch March Madness in my back yard with a black friend and good looking white guy. I heard Isaac from the Love Boat and Jefferson Darcy are available. Maybe I'll get a hot wife...who likes Bulgarian Sausage Pizza. Right now I am drinking by myself so I would take anybody at this point.



-I don't know why, but I am going to order a pizza now. Lost track of beers. Think its at 14.



-I am wasted at this point and I notice that the ball boys/sweat moppers are like 60 years old. I would love to do this in 30 years. I finally have something to shoot for. I think I am going to call my shrink.



-I just called Sally Balls (cuomo) because my shrink's not available. I also was looking at the classic picture of me, him, and the Young Mule Cock aka Young MC (soon to be the Married Mule Cock) in full life-jacket gear and mustaches at the 2001 Jimmy Buffet concert. No doubt the gear in this picture is a predecessor to current Bluff Divers Regalia. Looking at that picture is like seeing The Who when they were the High Numbers. Genius was about to be born. I was going to give him the classic Bud Light "I love you man" but he tells me to "don't be dramatic." It works. At least beer 18. Do a shot of VO for Sally.



-Dick Vitale calls A-10 player of the year candidate, Temple's Dionte Christmas, "Reece Christmas." Lot's of love for the A-10. At least he could have called him Lloyd. Duke is going to win this game at the end because they get every fricking close call, so I might just put Dumb and Dumber on.



-Doug Gottlieb used the word enigmatic. From an OSU grad, that's impressive. I wonder if he knows what it means? At this point, I don't know what it means.



-I have confirmation that one of my many problems may be booze. Three cases remain.



-Belmont gets hosed. Man I hate Duke. I am going to have a dance party with Maggie. The A-Team theme song might get my spirits up at this point.



-Night Cap Time!



-I am going to bed...



-Over/Under on PAP's (panic attack pills) is 2.5. Can't wait for tomorrow!!!