None of these people are even close to being on point. The downfall of the Pittsburgh Pirates can be summed up in two words:
Vincente Palacios
Who? That's right, Vincente Diaz Palacios. Many of you might not know who this is. Many of you do. Born in Manlio Fabio Altamirano, Veracruz de Ignacio de la Llave, Mexico, Vincente Palacios made his Pirates debut as a 24 year old right handed relief pitcher in 1987. Not much was known about the young Mexican fireballer except 1 thing: he openly practiced Voodoo. That's right folks, he openly practiced Voodoo. Are you telling me Jesus Christ couldn't hit a curve ball? Palacios didn't think so. F%^k you Joboo...I do eet my self!
After limited but effective action in 87 and 88, he took a year off from baseball in 1989. Many think it was to sacrifice live "chickens" in his hometown somewhere deep in the Mexican country side. And if you think I mean small mexican children by the word "chickens," you're exactly right. Most believe he spent 1990 in the minor's (although there is no record of him pitching anywhere in the minors) with Bob "Round Tripper" Kipper and Ted "Magnum PI" Power holding down middle relief for the big league club. Let's be honest here, there was an equal shot of him pitching in the minors that year with him spending the year ingesting hallucinagenic plants in the Mayan ruins. I choose choice B.
This brings us to 1991: The Pirates were the best team in baseball, I was the most popular kid in the 6 grade, and Snap had a huge hit with "I Got the Power" (be honest, you just sang that song in your head!). Vincente Palacios was 6-3 that year with a 3.75 ERA and 64 strikouts in 82 innings of middle relief. Not exactly setting the world on fire, but solid enough to lead the Pirates bullpen in innings pitched, rank second in strikeouts and opponents batting average, make 7 spots starts, throw a complete game shutout in an emergency start against the Reds late in the year, and garner three saves (this was before the "hold" statistic was invented).
Then the Pirates management team struck a deal with the devil. Inexplicably, Vincente Palacios was left off the post-season roster for the likes of Bob Patterson, Rosario Rodriguez, and Roger Mason. A pre-NLCS interview with Palacios turned into an incoherant rant on local news outlets (I remember this vividly as a pre-teen). There were some small rumblings from the fans but not many people made much of it. No one back then made a bid deal about middle relief. I distinctly remember thinking that Palacios was going to put a voodoo hex on the Pirates that year and voiced these concerns to my 6th grade chums.
This curse will forever be known as:
THE CURSE OF VINCENTE PALACIOS!!!
The following year, and last year the Pirates had a winning season, Palacios again was left of the post-season roster. The curse was alive and growing. Sid Bream, Francisco Cabrera, and a heart wrenching ninth inning game seven loss would only be the commencement of the torment that Bucco fans would have to faced for the next 15 seasons.
You have every right to say I am out of my mind. But Palacios would virtually disappear from baseball following a year off in 93 (more sacrifices no doubt) and 94-95 with the Cards until....
Spring of 2000. Sophomore year in college: I never made mention of this curse, for fear of somewhow inflicting its Voodoo upon me. Since I already had to deal with Them almost everyday, there was no way I needed a Voodoo hex in my life.
A buddy of mine, known only as Rick Shaw, and I decided to take in a Wednesday night affair at Three Rivers against the Padres, oddly enough the only team with religious undertones in its name. It was Wednesday April 26th, 2000. I still have the score card. I wrote on the card, "Man is Jimmy Anderson Fat." We were sitting on the first base side keeping score and drinking beer. Good times. Great Friends. Good Oldies. We inevitably started talking about whats wrong with the Bucs. After arguing for a couple of innings, I broke every superstitious bone in my body and mentioned The Curse of Vincente Palacios. Rick said that I was completely out of my mind.
The bottom of the eigth rolls around. Last call we grabbed a couple of could ones, making plans for a trip to Kopy's because, hey, we were business majors. The pa announcer then gets on the mic, "Now pitching for the Padres, Vincente Palacios." It was his first appearance in the major leagues 5 years. He "retired" one week later.
You tell me who is fricking out of their mind?
The Curse Lives
6 comments:
I wish there was a still frame showing our faces when they announced him. It was priceless!!!
It was beyond eerie man. I am glad someone was there to confirm the story. No one has seen or heard from Palacios since May 11, 2000. I am telling you the Bucs need to retire his number or something to get rid of the hex.
I totally remember having that guy's baseball card.
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The one thing I miss about Three Rivers is that you could basically get away with anything you wanted the last few years the place was open. We used to buy general admission tickets and then sit in box seats, no one cared, the Pirates were just happy people were paying to see horrible baseball in a terrible baseball stadium.
Jimmy Anderson was a fat piece of shit! It just goes to show that if you are a lefty, you have a decent shot of getting to the show.
I used to work at PNC Park, one of the benefits of the job was that I could come to the ball park early and watch BP and drills. The pitchers would run sprints around the corner of the outfield and fat Jimmy used to cut the corners every freaking time!
Sportsline has Pitt #9 next year and ESPN has Pitt #3! Let's go Pitt!
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