Let's be honest. This wildly popular sports blog might be considered by some to be a tad....well...bitter. A little randy at times, a little silly, and yes, a little mean. By far and large I hate most things, most people, and most importantly, my own day to day life on earth. Yes, I do find retarded people funny and love to make fun of them. I make fun of and objectify women, and their crotch turkeys. I enjoy pornography and I am not ashamed to admit that my allegiance to it may be what some people consider to be a serious problem. I pretty much disagree with anybody of different political views, skin color (hate those whiteys), penis size, and anyone with a positive disposition. This being said, there is reason to celebrate in Bluff Diver Land...for life is almost bearable and things are good (for now). Here's why:
-The Duquesne University Dukes-
(that's right, I said it)
Last night I stormed the court at the A.J. Palumbo Center. Last night I stormed the court. Last night I stormed the court at the A.J. Palumbo Center. For the second time in my lifetime and for the first time in 17 years, the Palumbo crowd stormed the court as the Dukes clinched their second consecutive winning year by beating #9 Xavier. This is their biggest win over 30 years. Which leaves the question: Is there any greater story in local sports-fuck what the local media will tell you about Pitt and the Steelers- than the resurgence of the Dukes program? The answer is resoundingly no.
Just three short years ago, the Dukes were quite possibly the worst program in Major D1 basketball. Following a 3 win season, they did their best reenactment of the final scene in Above The Rim, and had to have open tryouts to fill their roster. They had posted one winning year in over twenty seasons and were the laughing stock of the basketball world. Going to a Dukes game was like going to Church, or a Bob Seger concert, or a grade school girls basketball game, or watching an Obama speech...it was just plain unbearable and would make any intelligent person want to puke. In other words, they were pretty much the Pittsburgh Pirates of college hoops. There were players on the team that I could legitamately beat in a game of two on two (this is well documented to be true).
Today they sit at 15-7 (and would be 16-6 if not for some highly questionable officiating against St. Joes). Last season they posted the second largest RPI improvement of any division one team (Buffalo was #1). They now have clinched a second consecutive winning campaign, have had two straight top 30 recruiting classes, and are poised to make a run to their first post-season in 15 seasons. Better yet, they are the youngest team in D1 and should only get better from here. Competitive hoops has returned to the bluff and has made this diver one satisfied customer. Every game at the Palumbo this year (except for the ODU game) has been a wildly entertaining...if not wildly popular like this sports blog. While there is much room for improvement in every aspect of the Dukes program (please Lord get rid of the MASSively embarrassing fattys on the cheerleader squad), there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is more than a glimmer of hope for us long suffering fans. Normally, I would think that after a big win the Dukes would transform into their alter ego-the Ducks- and go right into the toilet. But not this year! Not these Dukes. I think this young team is turning the corner right before our eyes! I am currently sipping on the Dukes kool-aid. Let's Go Dukes!!!! Let's Go Dukes!!! Let's Go Dukes!!!
33 comments:
I called it! AND STORMED IT!!!!!1
LETS GO DUKES!!!!!!!!!!!
The Dukes will turn into, as you say, "The Ducks". They did the same thing last year at this time, throwing in a 3 game win streak with upsets of St. Joe's and Dayton to get to 16 and 7. Then dropped 5 in a row. If they can win their next 2, I think they turn the corner, but they still aren't over the hump.
And storming the court...dork. Aren't you 10 years removed from having a student ID. Leave that to the kids.
You're never too old to storm a court! Especially if you're a DUKES fan! The opportunity comes around about as often as Thorton voting Democrat!!
So you are saying there is no age limit to storming the court? That is absurd! 30 year old men are should not be heading onto the floor to jump around in a celebratory mosh pit. Do you go to a live show, and stand at the front of the stage, and get rammed into by a bunch of teenagers? Or do you enjoy the show from the bar area, where you can see, listen, and not be bothered. Leave the storming to the students. Here are 3 rules to determine when you are too old to storm the court.
1. If you are out of school for more than 5 years.
2. If you don't know more than 5 people still enrolled at the university.
3. If you are over the age of 25.
These should help with the next time you are deciding to storm.
3 reason you should never go to a dukes game:
1) you won't storm the court (and don't deserve too)!
2)you don't understand the importance of a W like this
3)you don't get excited enough over a huge dukes win to be overcome with emotions and celebrate with hundreds of Dukes fans at once!
--check your fanhood!!
storming the court has nothing to do with age. it has to do with the simple fact of fans enjoying a huge upset!
and yes you do enjoy the show from the bar area, where you can see, listen, and not be bothered if you're a non fan/music lover! It's called heart! Look up Pete Rose or Lenny Dykstra in the dictionary that should give you some clue!!!
stormming the court is NOT the same as being a thirty year old taking his mitt to a baseball game...why do you post anonymous?...there is no age limit. its about celebrating a huge win with your fellow fans and the team. but to clarify here is why its ok to storm the court at the Dukes game:
1) its the Dukes
2) we are fairly recent alumni
3) i have been attending dukes games since i was 3
4) I still have my du id
5) i currently know about a 1000 duquesne students...several of them intimately!!!
6)I happen to be friends with some of the players
7) I like to have fun you moron!!!
No idea how I found this blog. I'm trying to find how to get a quality print of the photo above as my friend and I are clearly shown on the lower left side. Also looking for Everhart radio show times as well.
As for this silly conversation, I'm thirty-fucking-nine years old and was "officially", the first non player on the court at the end of this game. I'm one of the leaders of "The Cause", spent a fair amount of coin and put a ton of time and heartbreak into this gigantic frustration of a program. I will storm that fucking court whenever our Dukeez win anything of value. I paid at the door.
You are 39 and still stormed the court? Didn't you feel weird jumping around out there with a bunch of late teens/early 20-somethings?
Sounds like someone is still attending college parties and reminiscing about their days in school, while all the young people talk about the weird, dorky old guy hanging out in the corner by himself.
No one else finds this odd?
Dear H.G.,
I am in agreement with anonymous and see no problem enjoying the show from the bar area. I still consider myself a music lover. I get a better view of the whole stage and also can spy on all the idiots getting dropped, crushed, or pushed.
I just don't want to get kicked in the head a hundred times by crowd surfers and sweat on by kids that want to mosh in 100 degree heat.
Normally I am against all court stormings and field rushings/tearing down goalposts, especially when you are no longer attending the institution in question. This is a special case however. The Dukes have been so bad for so long that anything as big as their win over Xavier is cause for as much rejoicing as possible. Not rushing the court in that situation would be similar to not celebrating if the Pirates ever managed to make the playoffs(which we all know will never happen in our lifetime.)
Pennypacker, who is watching the Saab factory?
I am in agreement with anonymous as well. Though if you look to his rules, Thorton Mellon has a right to rush the court since he still knows the requisite number of people enrolled at the school.
However, I do have a question to the "fairly recent graduate" statement. What does that actually mean? I think if it is over the 5 year mark then maybe he should refrain.
See what happens when i write a positive post?...
1) porter. how is that job as a high school assistant/mop boy going for you? still driving the tercel?
2)recent 0-5, fairly recent 5-10 (within the confines of the decade)
3) F all of you. Storming the court, if nothing else, is a good excuse to cop a quick feel of a chunky duquette...can you say elbow tit?
4) Since I pretty much live the same life I did at 19, F all of you times two. I believe in "hope I die before I get old." I bring a beer bong to most parties and weddings, I storm the court at dukes games, I sprain my ankle leaving the house of 19 year old sophomores...and guess what, I have a big fricking smile on my face. Have fun with you desk jobs and minivans and enjoy listening to Michael Mcdonald CDs coming home from soccer practice for the rest of your lives. Lick my balls, I might storm the court if they beat temple!
Sounds like Thorton is trying to justify his storming of the court. If you have to try and justify your actions, then I think you agree with the stated rules and should not be taking part in the storming.
And James is looking for a quality picture of the one posted? He is one of the 2 old people in the bottom left. He looks funny out there with a bunch of students, something to be proud of at 39.
I want to know which one he is: the creepy old guy with the program held high or the other creepy old guy with the gray hoodie on?
Or is he the one with dumb top-hat on? That seems like something an old guy would do to try to fit in with the college kids. Or is that you Thorton? Pennypacker?
Remember, the rules are there to help you. Old people can celebrate in the stands.
You talk a lot of smack for someone who posts anonymously bud.
a) I happen to be the editor of this blog and don't have to justify shit. I was responding to Mr. Porter's comments
b) I am not in the picture but just off it. Behind those two "old guys"
c) Must of hit home with the minivan and michael m. cd comment. clearly you must be miserable in life!
And who the f are you to make up these rules?
And who the f are you to make up these rules?
I posted the rules to help people decide if they should or should not rush the court after a victory. And since you are out of school 5+ years, I think it is time to start celebrating in the stands. But somehow you Keep Forgetin'your age, which has to be 25+, so another reason you should not be on the floor.
College is over, I understand the passion for the team, but you are not a peer to the students anymore. You are an elder, they should call you Mr. Mellon.
And you, Mr. Pennypacker, and James should all be standing in the stands, clapping and cheering with all the other "old people." Using the "I hope I die before I get old" line by The Who dates you even more. The kids you rushed the court with probably never even heard of The Who.
So I'm Takin it to the Streets, and from college students everywhere, I implore the creepy old people to stay in the stands if the Dukes beat Temple.
I implore you never to post your negative vibes on this subject matter ever....its over...i might drive to richmond and storm the court tonight...
Fyi I attended The Who concert in philly and was seeted next to a twelve year old who knew every word to every song!!!
I do encourage you and thank you for your posts, it has certainly stirred things up....this subject matter is now closed....If you happen to be a current Duquesne student please enjoy the renaissance of the program (and get some of your peers to actually show up to games) but don't hate on us creepy old guys...i may throw you out of my bar someday and take the girl you came with on a "cooler tour"..
Wow! Discussion over. So who wins? Anonymous or Thorton Mellon?
Did Thorton not notice the brilliant Michael McDonald references by Anonymous in his post. Those were well placed and well used.
Also where can I order a tee shirt?
I did notice...but "brilliant" and "michael mcdonald" (just through up in my mouth a little) should never be used in the same sentence. Just like "international recording superstar" and "donnie iris." Everyone wins at bluff divers, but if we are keeping track, I did because I make the rules on this freaking blog.
Pennypacker is on shirt duty. The is in his court. I can't do it all!!!
By the way porter, I have assumed all along that anonymous may be a certain partially employed Pitt fan.
Side Note... New Rule: Anyone who actually uses Michael Mcdonald references or listens to his god awful music is never allowed to storm the court! No matter what the circumstances are!!!
we're only 28 douche! STORM ON!!!!
chaz...that's in Sweeden!!??!!
Pennypacker,
28 is still over the age limit of 25. So you should stay in the stands, which might be a good idea since your dukies lost last night. Maybe you should save the storming for a tournament bid....oh wait...your to old to storm. Please read the rules again.
Again WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU...AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO MAKE THE RULES...
Oh wait, you are too gay to storm the court.
TWENTY EIGHT IS ISN'T THIRTY EIGHT ASS CLOWN...
Also know your history...the dukes haven't made the tourney in over thirty years...so beating a top ten team is like getting a tourney bid...
If you can't tell I am a little bitter this AM over last nights loss.
Also IF YOU KEEP POSTING ON THIS RIDICULOUS SUBJECT I AM GOING TO BAN ANONYMOUS USERS...THE COURT STORMING HAPPENED ALMOST A WEEK AGO!!!
Also, if you are a bitter Xavier fan...I cheer my ass off for them in the tourney every fricking year cause I am an A10 supporter...so lick my nuts
Thanks for playing.
Sorry Mr. Mellon, but my comment was addressed to Mr. Pennypacker. (I was taught to address my elders this way.)
Once again to answer your question, I posted the rules to help people decide if they should or should not storm the court.
28 is not 38. Good job, but since you brought up the age 38, that must mean you AGREE with me that there is an age cutoff.
So the 39 year old that proclaimed he was "officially the first non-player on the court" should NOT have stormed the court. Correct? Is this also something a 39 year old should be bragging about?
You do still agree that there is an age limit?
However, an age of 28 is greater than the stated rule of age 25 being the cutoff. Therefore that makes you too old to storm the court. In the future, maybe we can come to some sort of compromise on the age limit for rushing the floor.
But for now it is 25, so thanks in advance for proving my point. And once again, from all students out there....next time please refrain.
"Rules" for storming the court? Where are we? China? Who cares how old people are who storm the court? "I'm sorry, sir. You're clearly too old to express your excitement about this apparent watershed victory. Please remain in the stands with the preacher from Footloose." I, for one, would love to see a long-suffering, 70+ year old Dukes fan out there whooping it up with the kids. For those who have endured and stuck with the Dukes through those miserable, God-forsaken (ironic, I think) and, at times, tragic many years, let them enjoy.
People who judge other people for having harmless fun seem to be trying to compensate for something. Lighten up!
Lets thank Sean Miller for being so understanding of the Dukes storming the court after beating your squad.
Have you talked to Rod Brookin lately? He owes me some money.
Sooooo....NEW RULES POSTED BY THORTON
a) every person that runs on to the field after a world series victory must be under twenty five. clearly world series victories are only for college students and have been since the first series in 1903, when less then 1 percent of the american public held a college degree. also any mlb records or great moments may only be celebrated by people under twenty five. anyone who has played rbi baseball on nintendo is naturally discluded from any great baseball moments
b) every person of the 300,000 attending a super bowl victory parade must be under twenty five since most of the players are anyway. If you arent twenty five you must call off work and watch the parade on the local news affiliate while listening to John Tesh.
c) every person, of the twenty thousand plus it takes to fill a football field and tear down a goal post, must be under twenty five. even if your school's enrollment is under twenty thousand, as are 80 percent of the d1 football programs are, you cannot join the rush if you are not a "recent" graduate.
d) every person who throws a hat, or octopus, during a hockey game must be under twenty five. since most people over twenty five throw like a girl, this shouldn't be a problem.
e) anyone who storms the field during a soccer game...well, quite frankly should be shot!
e) only people of college age are allowed to bleed the colors of their team and are never allowed to celebrate anything but college sports. after they are over twenty five they must storm the softball pavillion at the senior games
I will put this into a list, since Mr. Mellon seems to like lists.
1) The most memorable rushing the field in baseball were the 2 college students after Hank Aaron's home run. Note that it was 2 college students.
2) Parades are for everyone. So that is a bad argument.
3) I am fine with number 3 becoming a rule. Recent graduates and college students are allowed to rush the field. I don't think any old people are climbing on goal posts.
4) Throwing something on the ice during a hockey game is not the same as physically rushing the floor with college students. This one does not make sense.
5) Professional soccer is one exception to the rule. Other parts of the world would dispute the age limit. But my rules stated above apply to storming the court, so that should clear up the soccer issue.
6) If that is a rule you want to make, then fine with me. So does that mean you will stay in the stands the next time the Dukes win?
I am glad we are making progress.
1-Apparently all the people that stormed Forbes Field in the 1960 World Series-which happened to be ranked ahead of the Hank Aaron play as far as "memorable moment" by MLB-all were college kids
2-Parades are retarded... But how is that losing the argument! STORMING THE COURT IS FOR EVERYONE!!! And you need to be a
plain idiot to stand out in the cold to see William Gay do his
best Lil Jon impersonation
3-I think goal post tear downs are overatted. But I would run on the field just the same.
4- Hockey sucks. New Rule: You can only go to hockey games if you physically played ice hockey at somepoint in your life. This would eliminated the NHL
5-Soccer is the downfall of American society and will not be spoken of on this site in any positive manner.
6-Thirty-two years from now when the Dukes beat their next top 10 opponent I WILL BE ON THAT FUCKING COURT LIKE THE PAINT ON THE FOUL LINE!!!! STILL BLUFF DIVING AT 60!!!
No one in that picture looks old, what is all this old discussion?
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