Bluff Divers Worst Sports Films of All Time!

In order to fill the time up between now and when the tourney starts....here is my list of the worst sports movies of all time:

10) The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh- Not even Doctor J (6'5,'' with the afro 6'9''), vinatage shots of the Civic Arena, and classic 70's disco montages save this picture. It's not the worst of all time because in some ways its sooooo bad that it becomes highly entertaining. Movie gets a little bit of credit due to bluff divers' bridging-the-gap encounter with an original cast member at an "ethnic-urban" bar in Cleveland prior to a 2001 Clapton concert. A complete dance routine from the film was performed after several shots of tequilla with the cast member and the bartender.

9) Talledega Nights- This movie would be much much higher on the list if NASCAR were actually a sport. Can't wait untill a few more bad films so we can start referring to Will Ferrell's career moves as "pulling a Chevy." Remember when he was actually funny?

8) The Scout- Man is this movie bad. Steve Nebraska? You can't come up with a better name than Steve Nebraska? Not only is his acting atrocious, but Brendan Frasier throws like a fricking girl. You drop tons of loot on being able to use the MLB logos, Yankee Stadium, etc. and you can't pick an actor that can actually throw a baseball? How this movie gets to use Yankee Stadium and Major League was forced to shoot in Miluakee instead of Cleveland is beyond me. This picture would be way higher on the list if it wasn't for solid cameos by Bret Saberhagen and Keith Hernandez's mustache.

7) Slap Shot- I know this is going to be a controversial pick, but much like Peter Griffin and the Godfather, I just can't make it through the whole picture. This movie was hilarious when I was ten and had the same level of mental capacity as most adult hockey players. Watch it now and try to tell me that Paul Newman isn't better suited making salad dressing. Plus its about ice hockey, a sport which about 1% of people who say they enjoy this movie have actually played.

6) Radio- football movies should be about football and re-re movies should be about re-res. Go see What's Eating Gilbert Grape instead if you want to see a good picture about neck biters.

5) Rocky V- let me preface this by saying I love this movie...but to be fair, it is really really extremely bad. The fake Don King and his "hit me and I'll sue" stuff is priceless cinematography. Tommy Gunn (who now claims he doesn't have AIDS by the way) has a great mullet and Cousin Pauley is extra drunk. On second thought, this movie may be the best sports movie of all time!!!

4) The remake of The Longest Yard- I would love to post comments about this movie but I legitimately made it through about 15 minutes before I turned it off. I almost had to leave the room because I was so angry about actually purchasing this On Demand. That is $3.99 and 15 minutes of my life I can never have back. The original is solid which prevents this from being the worst of all time.

3) Caddyshack II- Wow. What can I say about Jack Hartoonian and crew. I will say that I am so happy that I saw Caddyshack II before the first one because it made the first film that much better. Not only is it a bad sports movie and comedy, it may be the worst sequel this side of Porky's II. Look to the release of this movie to pinpoint the exact date that Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd stopped being funny.

2) The Next Karate Kid- Karate Kid movies are like BJs and Pizza, now matter how bad it may be, you keep coming back for more. But come on with this one! Are you telling me Ralph Macchio and Chaz Osborne weren't available for work? You have to get Hillary "Y chromosome" Swank for this one? And what's with the whole eagle on the building and bald monks thing? I just don't get that. Mr. Miagi teaching a chick to dance before the prom using Karate moves? I would have rather seen him dance with good old Danny Larusso! How about pair up with Van Damme and the Brazillian Capuella kids from "Only the Strong?" Anything but The Next Karate Kid.

1) Fever Pitch-It actually angers me that the Red Sox allowed this piece of dribble to be made. It is the only thing that has ever made me question my allegiance to Red Sox Nation. Made an absolute mockery of being a Red Sox fan and starred two of the most abnoxious people on the planet, Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. Its a travesty of a "sports movie" and has not one funny moment. What, you think by quoting stats everybody on the planet knows you would be sweet? Wrong! I get mad just thinking about it. You let these two a-holes run on the field after your first World Series in 86 years? How 'bout you let a Jimmy Fund kid do that instead? Garbage. At least they could have put Horatio Sans in the movie as a stoner Southie! To make matters worse, everyone I know said this movie was the greatest and I would love it because I am a Red Sox fan...they still do. That's wrong again! I would rather watch a re-occuring loop of Hope Floats and Fried Green Tomatoes for six days straight than have to see one more glimpse of this movie!