- Interleague play is the brain child that Alan "Bud" Selig views as his crowing achievement. (Gee, I thought it would be juiced up freaks-brian giles-shooting monkey testosterone up each others butts post locker room shenanigan's for 10 years). It is hands down the worst thing that has ever happened to baseball (other than the Pirates red jerseys and having playgrounds at these new retro parks). Here's why interleague blows: It sort of ruined the world series and definitely ruined the all-star game, it is unfair to teams with and without "natural rivals," its screws up the schedule, it messes with pennant races, it puts American League pitchers in risk of being injured (you try swinging a bat and running the bases after not doing it for 4 months), and last but not least it makes deadline deal cross-league trades less sexy.
- Allow me to bitch a little. Remember 2003? The Aaron Boone game? The worst managed game in baseball history (thanks Grady Little). What people don't know is that game would have been played at Fenway Park had it not been for interleague. The Red Sox had the best record by 3 games over the Yankees against the AMERICAN LEAGUE. All that means was that they were the best team in their league, division, and probably baseball, and should have had home field advantage in the playoffs. They would have had the final say at the plate that game. Enter Bud Selig. Interleague play gave the Sox series against the stalwart Braves and gave the Yankees the "subway series" against the lowly Mets. Two questions remain: 1) How in the superbeing's name are the Braves the Red Sox natural rival? (eh hem they already have one of those Bud and the Braves stopped playing in baseball in Boston when Pops was in high school....a long time ago for those of you that don't know) and 2) When will this all end? The leagues should be separate! They should have separate presidents (Bud eliminated those too)! They already have separate rules, styles of play, ball parks, players, etc. Keep it that way.
- On a side note: Man do playgrounds at ball parks jack me off. I might have the worst case of ADHD ever diagnosed but when I was a kid I couldn't wait to just go to the ballpark and take in the sights and sounds of the greatest sport, game, activity, pastime, and social institution this world has ever known. If you want your kids to go to the playground take them to the fricking playground. Go to the ballpark if you want to teach your child our national treasure, and most importantly, provide him or her with memories that will last a lifetime.
That being said if I were commissioner of MLB heres how I save baseball:
1) Get rid of Interleague Play, immediately. Issue official apologies to everyone that had to suffer through Pirates vs Royals and to those fans whose teams got screwed by Interleague. Looks like I get two apologies, Bud!
2) Shorten the season to 154 games, then play the wild card series on what would have been the last week of the season. This will make the playoff races and regular season more intense and will allow the World Series to end before Christmas.
3) Play playoff day games. Even if maybe only on weekends (including Friday). For those of you that remember them, nothing beats 'em. If they are worried about losing advertising dollars they shouldn't. Imagine the good PR that a company would received if they said "Bluff Divers, bringing day baseball back to America because we love America and America loves day baseball! Game 3 up next from PNC PARK. Catch an all new Maury following the game!
4) Limit the number of bobblehead promotions to 3 per team and force the person whose likeness is being used to have appeared in at least one all-star game and/or have one post-season award and/or have lead the league in one positive category (Sorry Ronny Paulino, your record for hot dogs and nachos consumed during an innning break does not qualify).
5) Force people who buy tickets to bobblehead games either: a) prove they attend at least 10 non-bobblehead games within the last or current season or b) buy tickets to 5 tuesday night games and c) keep score of the game in progress. The same could be said about Fireworks nights.
6) Require all teams to release unsold seats one half hour prior to game time for $5 with a valid or quasi valid student id. Including seats in the club level and home plate area!
7) Get rid of all playgrounds and secondary mascots.
8) Allow select fans to tarp slide during rain delays (I have tarp slid on multiple occasions...its quite possibly the most fun thing I have ever done and would be an awesome promotion).
9) BRING BACK BULL PEN CARTS!
10) TAKE TIM MCCARVER AND JOE BUCK AND SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD!!! (please also slowly torture Greg Brown). Scratch that, please slowly torture those idiots too!
11) Require all teams to show either Field of Dreams, Natural, Bull Durham or "Enriquo Palaco" clips at all games.
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This man IS NOT A BLUFF DIVER
3 comments:
While we're at it, can we get rid of the term "walk-off" please? Seriously, what was wrong with calling it a game winning hit? If we have to keep it, at least make it only be used for home runs. There's no such thing as a walk-off double.
That will be added....Walk-off is a creation of ESPN its fricking ridiculous...and good point about the double. In fact as commisioner of MLB, I will personally host baseball tonight to get rid of all the ridiculousness thats on that program...I will also make al "squeeze catch" pedrique co-host with Rich "El Guapo" Garces (he will, of course, need an interpreter and will be paid in enchiladas)--- Thorton Mellon
I absolutely hate ESPN and Interleague play. The only thing worse then those two things is coming home to your apartment and finding the Southside Steamer has left you a present.
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